That's What Friends Are For

Fernando does not get many visitors these days, since everyone is off doing his or her own thing, and spare time and money are precious commodities roughly on par with spaceship fuel. Sure, Fernando has his weekly gig with his dragonslaying crew, but most of Fernando's other correspondences with his peers take place via the internet or via telephone.

When an opportunity for an in-person reunion rears its head, therefore, Fernando will take fullest advantage of it.

One of Fernando's best friends from the days in which he was a slacker in college instead of a slacker in a video store is Consuela, who currently resides some eight-odd hour drive from him. Consuela's job requires her to do site visits once in a great while, and it was fortuitous that her most recent site visits brought her to the vicinity of the Dominion of Movies. So it was agreed that she would stop by one night and the glory days would be relived. Fernando also made it a point to induct her to the most wondrous of offerings from Fernando's community: the legendary Sweaty Bill's Pizza.

She arrived safely and timely, and reunioneqsue words were exchanged; they were on the tune of "I'm here!" and "Welcome to the Dominion of Movies!" (as if Consuela was stopping by from her neighboring dorm room instead of it being the first time in about five years they had seen one another in person) and the pizza was ordered with three toppings: pepperoni, green peppers, and mushrooms. When the pizza was picked up twenty minutes later and brought back to the Dominion for consumption, the pepperoni and green peppers were nonexistent compared to the veritable genocide of Princess Peach's subjects slathered on top of the pie.

Consuela is one who loves mushrooms and occasionally purchases cans of the things to munch on as a snack; Fernando is significantly less enamored. But even Consuela's mighty fungal craving could not tackle the mountains on the pizza. Slices could not be lifted without them tumbling everywhere. One could brush one's hand over the top and displace entire settlements. So these extraneous mushrooms were soon piled in one corner of the pizzahouse like a grisly offering to some Cthulhuesque chaos god whose infinite hunger could not even reduce the pile. Consuela became highly amused.

So the mushrooms-with-a-side-of-pizza were eaten, and NBC was watched (though we really had no clue what was going on as we were busy "shooting the breeze"), and we discussed things like politics and DRM and Rebecca: The Horrible Groupwork Girl From Our Cuban Politics Class Back in the Day. It was enjoyable, and Fernando was made merry, and Consuela too. But, as all good things must come to an end, Consuela had to leave barely more than two hours after she had arrived. Timely site visits require driving and competent driving requires sleep. So Fernando bid her a good night and thanked her for finding time to visit. When she at last departed, the Dominion of Movies became a less cheerful place.

But, ye gods, those mushrooms.