Do You Want a Play?

Fernando is minding his own business one slow October afternoon when the phone rings. The caller ID flashes “NEVADA CALL” and Fernando feels a burst of titillation. He lets the phone ring three or four times while he gets into the proper character.

“Hello.”

“Yeah, this is John calling on behalf of Lou Diamond. I've got a play that you might be interested in, and I just wanted to give you a quick Spiel to see if you'll back me up.”

“What play is it that you speak of? Is this performed on a stage?”

“Well, let me help you out in getting you on board. You ever heard of Lou Diamond?”

“He has quite an improper name. It resembles that of a human streetwhorewalker.”

“Well, our records show you have a movie store, and we've got a DVD coming out that'll be a huge hit. I just wanted to know if you'd be up for a play.”

“Again with this silly play. Is this Dee-Vee-Dee one in which humans perform on a stage? Did the step-ladder-humans create it? It is something they would be likely to do. We must be wary of this step-ladder-human nonsense!”

“What....No. Listen, just give me your name so I can put you down for one of these.”

“Ye, this sounds reasonable. Cokakar.”

“O...kay. That's really your name?”

“Is your name is really your name?”

“Listen, are you the one in charge there? Is there somebody else I can talk to, the owner or something?” Up to this point, “John” somehow managed to remain incredibly slick-talking and upbeat. I have to give him major credit for that.

“No, no. Haragol Amelel is not here at the moment. You speak to Cokakar.”

“Well, um--”

“I once had a filthy elefim in my body. It made me do such silly and filthy things as hug a dwarf-man floating in midair with rats.”

“What are you--” Now he started losing it. Tee-hee-hee.

“The one most annoying step-ladder-human became a bear and I threw the elefim into the ocean not long thereafter. And another one off a cliff. It survived. Filthy elefim.”

He hung up and hasn't called back since, which is odd as Cokakar was being very friendly that day indeed.