Monday, October 18, 2010

Questions and Clarity

Fernando is approached by an elderly woman with a grandchild of perhaps 14 in tow. “Yes, I want to know if this movie is rated R.” She places Fired Up upon the counter, the cover of which reads in big, bold letters “UNRATED.”

“Ma’am, this is Unrated. It has content that was not screened in theaters.”

“I looked on the back and I didn’t see it was rated R. I just want to know if it’s rated R or not, so I know it’s safe for the kids to watch.”

“Well, it’s Unrated. Like I said, it has content that was considered inappropriate to show in theaters.”

“Like what?”

“I imagine six to seven seconds of naked female breast, as well as at least ten minutes of additional footage that had been better off remaining cut.”

“So it’s not rated R?”

“It is rated R in that most of the movie was rated R when it was in theaters. They added some content to the DVD release that was not screened, and gave it an Unrated rating.”

“That doesn’t make any sense at all. Is it rated R or Unrated?”

[Pause] “Unrated.”

“Ok, we’ll take it.”

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