Free Smells

One evening Fernando is eating his dinner when a semiregular customer and her daughter come into the store. He is unable to greet them immediately because his mouth is full of deliciousness at that moment, but the mother fortunately takes initiative in the conversation.

“What's that smell?” she asks, waiting patiently on Fernando's response as he works his jaws frenetically.

Fernando swallows his mouthful and says, “Jambalaya.”

“It smells really good.”

“I should hope so,” says Fernando, who is somewhat surprised it can be smelled in the first place, “I made it myself.”

At this point the daughter, who's eighteen or thereabouts, chimes in. “Wait. You cook?”

“Of course I do.”

She looks doubtful, no doubt because Fernando is male and stereotyping exists in the world. “Is that from a box?”

“Absolutely not!” Fernando exclaims in mock affront. “I cook from scratch whenever possible.”

The young woman cocks her head. “Could you give me the recipe?”

“What? Uh, sure. Yeah. Let me type it up right quick for you and print it off, since you'd never be able to read my scrawl.” So the two of them browse the store and select a few movies to rent while Fernando types up his jambalaya recipe and prints it off for them before they leave. Due to the way Fernando does his cooking, the recipe is not the most precise set of instructions ever created, and he made this fact clear when he turned it over.

A few days later the daughter returns to the store to rent again, and informs Fernando that her family had prepared jambalaya according to his recipe and found it quite delectable. Fernando will take compliments wherever he finds them.

And, for the curious:

2ish teaspoons olive oil

1 lb. chicken breast

8 oz. spicy sausage

1 large onion, chopped

1 bell pepper, chopped

2-3 stalks of celery, sliced

~3 teaspoons minced garlic

~2 teaspoons crushed red pepper

Cayanne pepper to taste

1 28 oz can of crushed tomatoes

2 cups of brown rice

4 cups of water

Heat oil in large pot and saute chicken and sausage for about 5 minutes. Stir in onion, pepper, celery, garlic, and crushed peppers. Saute for about 5 more minutes until onion is translucent. Add cayenne pepper, tomatoes, rice, and water. Bring to a boil, reduce heat and cover; and cook for about 40 minutes until rice is done.

Go forth and prepare!