Four days after the ill-fated attempt at littering perpetrated by That and VHS Guys, the schizophrenic weather decided to swing back to the “cold” side. The winter had been one of bounding extremes, with sub-zero temperatures (Fahrenheit, of course, since Fernando lives in a country filled by ignorant boors) followed up by topless-sunbathing-level heat waves in the thirties and forties. This pendulum teetered back and forth over the span of two weeks and in the end of it all, the snow which remained was no longer fluffy wonderment but a flat pancake of dirty ice.
Fernando does his best to keep the Dominion's front clear of life-threatening obstacles, but there are some things a plastic snow shovel simply cannot deal with, and smooth ice clinging to the sidewalk or road like the latex bodysuit on a saucy dominatrix certainly falls under that umbrella. He threw down salt, removed the slush when he could, and hoped for the best when the weather was too cold for salt to function effectively.
It was on this particular day that the chimes above the door jingled. Fernando heard the rustle of a paper bag and the clomp of boots worn by a heavyset individual. VHS Guy's face appeared around the corner, all but guaranteeing that Fernando would suffer nightmares for the next week. It was puffy with cold and wore a combination glower and smirk.
“Y'know I about slipped and fell out there front of your store,” he says as he sets his brown paper bag atop the counter and sets his body so he faces Fernando directly.
Fernando does not rise from his seat. “I'm sorry to hear that. Fortunately you didn't actually slip and fall, so no harm was done.”
“A guy could though, just sayin'. Like I almost did. I'd have ta sue ya if that happened.” Whether this is meant to be good-natured advice or a piss-poor attempt at veiling a threat is a mystery. Fernando chose to take it as the latter because of VHS Guy's history and personality.
“That would be no good. The walkway's clear of snow, right?”
VHS Guy looks out the front door at the storefront and parking lot. “Yeah, seems like it.”
“Well, and I've got a bag of salt right there next to you that I've been putting out there. There is salt sitting out on top of the ice, right?” While it would not serve to melt the damnable solid under the current temperature conditions, the crunchy granules would provide some small level of friction for people brave enough to cross the wasteland. It wreaked havoc on Fernando's carpets, since people left dusty white trails behind them wherever they went in the store, but these are the trials of the Dominion's Keeper.
VHS Guy seems a trifle uncertain at this point but nevertheless assented. “Yeah, I guess so.”
“In that case, I have little to worry about it seems.”
VHS Guy mulls that over in silence for about twenty seconds. Then he grabs his paper bag and departs.
Fernando returns his attention to his computer screen and pays no heed to VHS Guy as he stumps past the office windows.