Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Familiarity Breeds ???

One evening a guy comes into the Dominion, and despite him not having been to the store in eons Fernando immediately recognizes him for two reasons. First, the guy attended Fernando's high school a class below him. Second, he owed Fernando money.

The previous time this gentleman had rented, Fernando was but a lowly wage slave instead of Master of the Dominion. The movies went out and were gone for quite a long while, nearly a week. Fernando and the previous owners pulled out all the stops to get the man to return the two movies he had rented and, finally, their efforts bore fruit. They were deposited in the drop box by the young man's parents one day while Fernando was working.

The only problem is that the movies were ruined. Absolutely nonfunctional. The cases, both inner and outer, and the discs themselves were covered in a horrid cocktail of dirt, pine needles and peanut butter, and the whole ensemble absolutely reeked of hemp having been used in a recreational manner. Needless to say, the old keepers were not amused and rightly charged the young man replacement fees. But he had never come back to the Dominion, perhaps out of wisdom, perhaps out of shame.

But today it seems he woke up and felt like doing something futile and stupid.

So he selects a few rental tags and brings them to the counter where Fernando is waiting. The first thing out of Fernando's mouth is, “You have $45.50 in late fees. You can't rent unless you pay that off, and update all of your customer contact information, and provide a credit card number.”

What? You're serious?” he sputters.


There's no way I owe forty-five bucks. I haven't been here in forever.”

Ice Age and Quantum of Solace.”


Those are the two movies you rented about three years ago, took out to your camp or whatever, and returned ruined. You've got $45.50 in late and replacement fees. I won't rent to you until they're taken care of and all the other things I ask are provided.”

Outrage did not seem to have worked, so he tried charm. “C'mon, man. You know me, right?”

Fernando nods. “Yep.”

Come on. You know me. I promise I'll bring them back.”

You're right.”

A look of surprise crosses his face. Could his plan actually have worked? “Huh?”

You're right. I do know you. You're the guy who owes $45.50 in late and replacement fees and cannot rent until they are paid, and then some.”

I don't have that much on me right now.”

Then perhaps you should come back another day with the money in hand. Excuse me.” And Fernando begins sorting through some movies that had just been returned via the drop box just moments before.

Buddy leaves, and only time will tell if he will make another visit down the road.

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