More Porn

One afternoon Fernando is speaking with one of his friends via the Book of Faces when the phone rings. The caller ID reads “Global Comm” and Fernando gears up for yet another encounter with telemarketers attempting to sway him to sign up for some nebulous company's communication services. After all, Fernando cannot simply allow the phone to go unanswered; that would be unprofessional.

“Hello, Dominion of Movies!”

The first words out of the telemarketer's mouth are “Hey, brother!”

Curious opening gambit. Fernando unleashes a proper response: “Hi! Your voice has changed, and why are you calling me at this number?”

A brief pause as the marketer considers his next move. Then: “Excuse--”

Ah, but Fernando quickly follows up his attack! “Because you're not my brother.”

The telemarketer rallies and responds, “Okay then, hey, partner!”

“Hey yourself!” Fernando says, mirroring his opponent and awaiting what was to come.

“I wanted to talk to you today about the DVDs you make.”

This mistake creates an opening! Fernando strikes without hesitation. “My DVDs? What about the DVDs that I make? Because I can assure you I do zero illicit creation and marketing of copyrighted material.”

“Um...I mean the DVDs that we make,” the telemarketer says, now on the defensive.

“Oh, well then. What sorts of DVDs do you make?”

“Well, the sort that we can't advertise on TV or in other places.” He pauses, gathering confidence. “We distribute adult movies.”

A-ha! Fernando has dealt with this sort before, and knows how to push buttons. “Oh, so you mean porn?”

“Uh...yeah, yeah, porn,” is the cowed response.

“Well, I hate to break your bubble, but I don't currently carry any of those.” While this seems like Fernando left a vulnerable chink in his defenses, he gives the anonymous man from Global Comm no opportunity to exploit it. “And I'm uninterested in stocking such things right now, and for the foreseeable future. So, I hope you have a great day, and best of luck in getting in touch with your sibling!” Then Fernando hangs up.

Fernando hopes the guy is able to retrieve his porn from his brother.