Fernando is collecting his mail one day (random aside, but for some reason the post office decided to grace his box with two copies of the free weekly paper) and sees a letter from a local television station amidst all the usual newspapers and bills.
“What could they want?” Fernando muses aloud, shifting his gaze over the envelope. It sadly seems to have been misdelivered, as a Fern Setevs should have come into possession of it rather than our protagonist. Fernando perpetrates some sort of federal offense by opening this stranger's mail to browse the envelope's contents. The station would greatly appreciate Fernando's attendance at a small business seminar put on by some advertising agency in order to “more effectively advertise,” which, of course, is code for “create a captive audience to harangue for some billboard-making guys in order to pimp their services.”
"That sounds nice," says Fernando as he rips the letter up and disposes of it.
Words of advice to social gathering organizers: If you want Fernando to RSVP your event, make sure you do enough basic research on him to ensure you spell his fucking name correctly.
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