Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Mother Nature Hates My Guts

It's a sunny and warm day in late April. The sun is devastating what few pockets of snow remain and, for the first time in a long time, the heater has been turned off. The door to the Dominion of Movies is propped open by a VHS rental case and the spring air is fortifying the stale, wintry atmosphere of the building's interior.

Fernando is standing at the counter talking with a customer who shares some of his geeky tendencies; specifically, regarding the HBO miniseries based on George R. R. Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire. Suddenly, the wind began picking up.

Fernando likes wind. The feeling of being buffeted by a strong breeze is that of euphoria. So Fernando was overjoyed when some of that turbulence rushed into the store in a flurry of good smells and comfort.

Fernando and his customer continued their conversation when there was a massive gust of wind and a great rending tear coming from outside. Then something dark and rectangular was gusted across the street in a dust devil/mini tornado about the height of Fernando's building.

What the hell...?” Fernando asked, coming around the counter and peering outside. His shirt was flapping in the gale and he peered at the object being ghosted across the street. It finally came to rest in the parking lot of the old flower shop across the highway. It was now white, and had strangely familiar words and lettering on it.

You're shitting me,” Fernando said in disbelief. He walked out into his parking lot and looked up at his storefront. One half of his sign was missing from its usual spot, instead having been forcibly relocated to across the street.

Fernando retrieved the signage and hauled it into the back of the store. A few days later, it cost him $75 to get a guy on a ladder to reattach it. He had the repairman put extra screws into it to prevent that from happening again.

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