In a Timely Manner

Fernando does custom movie ordering for people who seek home entertainment, as he has the might of a distributor behind him. Usually these are the vanishingly rare DVD releases of movies originally released in the 1960s and 70s, because anybody can go down to Wal-Mart and pick up Riding in Cars With Boys for $5.

The first time Fernando did such a custom ordering was for a couple in November of 2009 for a movie called Gargoyles from 1972, as a Christmas gift for one of their extended family members. The people who wanted it asked if he could track it down; once Fernando did so and found out the price, they agreed to it, and so the order was put in. The movie arrived with Fernando's next weekly shipment, through some dint of fate. He called the couple up to let them know the movie was in and they assured him they would be down in a few days.

They failed to show. But life gets in the way, so he called them up again and left a message that their movie was still down at the Dominion, and waited.

And waited. A week later, another call.

Waiting.

Waiting.

About a week before Christmas, Fernando calls again, reminding them that that day of object-giving was almost here and that a movie can't very well be a Christmas gift if it isn't in one's possession before Christmas. To no avail. The holiday comes and goes.

Now Fernando has a pickle. He's got a movie from 1972 that no one has ever, ever heard of and that he spent good money on. He could toss it on the sales rack, but then it would be certainly sold at a loss. With his luck, the couple would come in just as the movie was sold for $8ish to someone else. So Fernando does the next best thing.

He sticks it on a very, very high shelf out of sight and forgets about it.

Months pass, until February of 2010. The people who put in the movie order from so very long ago return to the store for the first time in four months to rent a stack of movies. Ah-hah! thinks Fernando, now I can get my money on this thing at long last!

So Fernando reaches up to the high, out-of-sight shelf and retrieves Gargoyles, the plastic wrapper of which is by this point covered in a faint layer of dust. He wipes it off on his pants leg to make it more presentable.

"Yeah, um, I've still got your movie here." He sets the DVD on the counter.

"Oh wow! We totally forgot about coming by to pick it up!"

"Er. I called you guys up about four times throughout December."

"We must not have gotten the message then. But this is great. My sister-in-law's birthday is coming up!"

"Well, it's still $18. You should probably get this out of the way. One less thing on your to-do lists."

The husband looks to his wife. "Well, we don't have that much on hand right now. But we'll be in when we return these to pick it up, don't you worry."

Where have I heard that before? Fernando thinks a trifle bitterly to himself. The movies are rented and returned the next day, but no one entered the Dominion. And the waiting resumed. Gargoyles resumed its sad, lonely perch on Fernando's top shelf.

In the interests of vague brevity, the movie was finally paid for on March 18th, 2010. As of December 2009, Fernando asks for half the price of any custom orders to be paid as a deposit when the order is agreed-to.