GG, Family Video

Once in a while, as has been related in the past, people return Family Video's movies to Fernando at his Dominion. Fernando is a gentleman and calls up the store and usually arranges for someone to come pick it up, or for Fernando to go out of his way to return the films should he be heading thattaway in the nearish future.

One of Fernando's regular customers rented a movie from him and failed to return it; quite bizarre, since this person had generally been punctual in returning his rentals and paid off any of the small late fees he'd accrue immediately. So, after the third day of absence, Fernando calls him up to investigate the matter.

“Hello?”

“Hi, this is Fernando from the Dominion of Movies. I'm just calling about the movie you rented a few days back. It hasn't been returned, and I just wanted to remind you.”

“I returned it on Monday.” (It was now Wednesday by this point).

“Well, I still have the slip in my late pile. Let me double-check to make sure I didn't shelve it and accidentally forgot to mark it as returned.” This sort of thing happens to Fernando once in a while, unfortunately, for he is only human and if he is being swamped by customers things can fall through the cracks. However, upon checking his database and the shelf, the movie in question is absent and labeled as still in the customer's possession. Fernando informs him of this fact.

“Well, I don't know what happened. Let me check around the house here and I'll get back to you.” Fernando agrees and the conversation ends.

An hour or so later, the man comes into the store looking quite distressed. “Yeah, um. I'm sorry.” He places a case down on the counter—one of Fernando's cases, but inside of it is a movie from Family Video. “I accidentally returned your movie to Family Video. I'll go up there tomorrow and see about getting it back.”

Fernando pish-pishes that suggestion. “I'll just call them up right now and explain what happened. It's happened that I've gotten their videos a bunch of times before.” So Fernando digs out the phone book and calls up the Family Video in question.

“Family Video.”

“Yes, hi. This is Fernando from the Dominion of Movies in the small town twenty-three miles to the west. One of my movies was accidentally returned to your store a few days ago.”

“Which one?” Fernando gives the title and the man excuses himself for a moment. A few minutes later, he returns. “Yeah, we've had it here since Monday. We tried giving you a call but the person who answered the phone said not to worry and that you'd be in to pick it up.”

Now this is quite odd. Fernando is the sole employee at the Dominion of Movies, and he would certainly recall Family Video calling him about possessing one of his films; he would never have had to call up his customer in that case because he would have seen that it was returned. When Fernando expressed his misgivings regarding the tale's veracity, the man on the other end became indignant.

“Look, I'm telling you what really happened. We called the number on the tag and somebody answered.”

“Like who?” It is a fact that Fernando enjoys messing with people who spin bullshit, like telemarketers and liars.

“Oh, just a guy. You know.”

“Well, I mean, I don't know. I don't know at all because I don't have any 'guys' working here.”

“A girl, then.”

Did this man think Fernando was in some way deficient? “Listen. There's nobody else here. There's just me, Fernando. I never got this phone call.” The man tries interrupting but Fernando will have none of it. “Here's what going to happen. I've worked with you guys to go out of my way to return movies of yours before that have been dropped off here and I'm frankly pissed at the crap you're trying to pull on me. So I expect my movie to be back in my possession by Friday. If it is not, then we shall dance a legal dance in which you explain why you have unlawfully had some of my property in your possession for almost a week.” And Fernando hangs up.

The movie was in his drop box the following morning, but Fernando is done being nice with Family Video. As for the customer, he paid off his late fees without issue and all became right between Fernando and him because Fernando follows the Golden Rule, and does unto others as is done unto him.