Time passes, and it becomes quarter after seven. Fernando's other copies of Jackass 3 have all been returned, and they have all gone out again because people inexplicably want to watch that dreck. But the one set aside for Mr. Salami lingers on Fernando's desk by its lonesome. The Walking Dead has already been collected, as has The Next Three Days. Fernando is not optimistic it will even be collected, as that is how things tend to unfold when someone absolutely must have a particular movie set aside for him or her.
Then a car pulls up and the two girls from earlier reenter the store. “Yeah, we're here for Jackass 3. Do you have it?” asks the one with the voluntary nasal disfigurement.
“Of course,” Fernando replies, flashing the case and moving to the counter. He sets about filling the rental slip out and asks, “Can I get your name?”
“Alister Crowley.”
Why is that name familiar? thinks Fernando, filling out the rental slip as he peripherally checks out the late list. Is it...?
As Fernando shuffles about looking as if he's doing something meaningful, he positions himself to get a closer view of the late list. And there it is: Crowley, Alister. 2/20/09. $1.50.
“Uh, turns out you actually have a tiny late fee--” begins Fernando before he is rudely interrupted.
“What? How? From when?”
“From February of 2009. A buck fifty.”
“You're serious?”
Fernando allows a bit of snark to enter his voice. “I generally find it is bad business sense to create late fees out of whole cloth.” He goes to his desk and withdraws the Tiny-But-Not-Really Binder of Late Fees, A-M, then flips through it to the C's. And there it was. He shows her the slip inside the book and she shrugs in mute acceptance.
“Fine. I'll pay it.”
“It'll be five dollars altogether.” She hands over a wad of singles and departs.
And so the saga of Jackass 3 came to an anticlimactic end.
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