Ethnic Wealth

One of Fernando's customers, the one who generally complains about everything, enters the Dominion one evening. He's in a fey mood for some reason. He whistles as he browses the shelves.

Finally he selects his movies and brings the tags to the counter. “Hey, Fernie, is it alright if I pay you in quarters today?”

“Absolutely,” Fernando responds. Paying entirely in change is alright so long as the individual in question is willing to wait out the time it takes for Fernando to count out the coins. Quarters, not a long time. People who pay in dimes, nickels, and pennies generally learn the lesson after their first transaction. Fernando likes to be sure of his tallies, so he double-checks his work.

So the man counts out fourteen quarters and arranges them on the counter as Fernando goes about getting the movies. “Y'know, Fernie, the only reason I'm paying with change today is because I ain't got nothing smaller.”

Fernando waits a beat to let the anticipation grow. There's only one reason anyone ever talks about his or her economic status with Fernando: it went through a marked change in either one direction or the other. "Nothing smaller" implies an improvement. “Oh? Why's that?” he asks, waiting for the gloating to begin.

“Got my unemployment check today finally. Those bastards finally 'straightened everything out,'” the man says with disdain lacing his words. “Now I'm -black person- rich.”

Fernando is pretty certain his normally stoic facade broke in light of this sudden declaration, which has been edited for decency. “Um...what?” he asks, hoping he perhaps misheard the adjective in question.

“Got my unemployment,” the man repeats, “and I'm -nubian- rich. Now I don't have to sell my car.”

Fernando opens his mouth to say something but the man cuts in, “Yeah, I prolly shouldn't be sayin' that because of that PC crap. That, and anybody who has two bucks to their name can be called -attractive and successful African American- rich these days. Anyway, I'll see you later, Fernie!” And he leaves as mysteriously as he came while Fernando is stunned and speechless and unable to piece together any sort of meaningful response.

Fernando was shocked at what had passed moments ago only for the shortest while, until he remembered where he was and who he was dealing with. Then he shook his head in lament and resumed his duties.