Thursday, March 22, 2012

Go Kippers!

Fernando is at work when his cell phone rings. The number is one which he does not recognize so he ignores it and instead goes to fetch coffee. Upon his return, he notices that he has a voicemail. He checks it and this is what he hears:

Hi Fern, this is Latvia with Eagle 107: The Heart of the Bay! I'm giving you a call to let you know that you can give a shout out to your winning team, the Zail-Kanzin (except she mispronounced it as something phonetically resembling “Koozle”) Kippers, as they head off to the playoffs. So if you'd like to get a ten-second spot, give me a call at -insert random numerals- and remember, go Kippers!”

Many thoughts formed in Fernando's mind after hearing this: How did this lady get my cell phone number? Why would she call my cell phone if it was the Dominion she was trying to contact? Doesn't the Dominion reside in Saladolsa? Has it relocated since last I checked? Does this mean Latvia is cold-calling cell phones at random? If she's randomly punching in digits, could she happen to call herself calling herself? Would Xzibit then create a singularity which swallows the entirety of the universe swallowing the entirety of the universe? I should google “colliding black holes” because that's pretty dang badass and--

If you would like to delete this voice message, press seven.”

Fernando did.

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