Thursday, June 2, 2011

Job Search

A scruffy, middle-aged man with lank, gray hair who Fernando has never seen before enters the store one beautiful day. Without preamble, he speaks at Fernando in a, um, “quaint” brogue: “Yeh, I wanna know ef yer lookin' t' hyre ennebuddy.”

Er, no, sorry. I'm not hiring at this moment,” responds Fernando after taking a moment to ensure comprehension of what was just said.

Well, ken I get'n applecashun?”

Um, sure. I don't see the harm in that. But don't get your hopes too high. Like I said, I'm not hiring right now.” Fernando digs through his filing cabinet in search of the musty manila folder containing blank job applications. He tears one off and passes it to the stranger, who snatches at it with unwashed fingers.

Thenks. Now I ken show th' 'mploy'ent peeble I'm lookin' ferra job 'n' ken keep gettin' So'cal Scurr'ty.” Then he departs just as one of Fernando regular customers enters the building, giving the mysterious visitor a surprised look.

Oh, you're hiring now, eh? Seems about time, since you never get a day off,” says the regular customer.

Well, frankly, if that's the highest caliber of my potential employees, I think I'd rather just not have any days off.”

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