Gust of Wind Dance

One weekend in late April consisted of nothing but wind and sleet and occasional rain. It proved very good for business (people are loath to head outdoors into hateful weather) but when it all died down Fernando saw that a portion of his roof had been deshingled and damaged. That's no good. That requires Fernando to spend money, and he has ever been a miser par excelance.

So Fernando heads over to his insurance people to inform them of his desire to invest in a new roof. Sure, the damage was only to a part of it, but Fernando realized that the whole thing may as well be replaced because, except a portion where some shingle repair had been done five, six years before, it kinda looked old and nasty. “It would be preventative,” he argued to Nice Insurance Lady. “Else the parts that need repairing would get repaired but six months, a year down the road some other little piece would get damaged and that would be no good for either of us because we'd need to shell out more money to fix that little problem.”

Nice Insurance Lady accepted Fernando's argument and asked when he could get an estimate in to her. He told her that he called up a local roofer who would come by “soon(tm)” to measure and give Fernando price estimates on reshingling the roof versus throwing up a metal one. Nice Insurance Lady said she would pass the claim on up her bureaucratic line and that Fernando would receive a call from an adjustor within the next few days.

The very next day, Fernando was awoken at 7.48 A.M. Central Standard Time as his cell phone went berserk. Who could be calling what gaaaaaah, were the thoughts seeping through his sleep-addled consciousness. Fernando missed answering the phone with all the grace and serenity that could be expected of him at 7.45 in the morning, and it went to voicemail.

Fuck this. I'll deal with it later, grouched Fernando as he collapsed back into blissful slumber.

He awoke some hours later and checked his voicemail. As he listened to the message, he seethed:

“Hello, Fernando. This is Magic Man Potion, your adjuster from Magic Man Insurance. I am trying to reach you regarding your claim status. Your claim number is 11111, and you can reach me at 555-555-5555 if you have any questions or concerns. Once you get an estimate, you can fax that to us at 555-555-5556, extension 5335. Thank you.”

FAX?

God, it's like these people have never heard of emails, email attachments, or .pdf files. Or printer/scanner combos. Or any one of the gaggle of technologies that aren't fax machines but do everything a fax machine can do, and more, and easier, and by all rights better.

Fernando wonders if they would like the estimate produced on a typewriter, as well.