Play to Win

VHS Guy had been making regular appearances at the Dominion of late, just making Fernando's day complete by showing up to not rent movies and walking out some minutes later. Fernando's interactions with him ranged from curt to smarmy.

One evening he enters the store and pretends to browse the Adopt-A-Movie Box. “Hey, uh, how come I ain't won this drawing all the years I been coming in here?” He sets a brown paper bag on the ground before the counter. Whatever its contents are, they rustle loudly as the weight settles to the carpeted floor.

Unfortunately, another person is browsing the shelves so Fernando cannot be as dismissive as he likes. “Oh. Well, one needs to enter the drawing in order to increase one's odds of being drawn.”

“Alright. I'm just gonna fill out this winning ticket then.” VHS Guy snatched up one of Fernando's pens and paws through the box of paper slips he keeps near the drawing bucket, probably seeking the largest rectangle he can find.

“Um, it really doesn't work that way. You need to rent or buy something in order to enter.”

“I been coming here.”

“Yes. But. You haven't rented anything. I run this as sort of a thank-you to my customers, the ones who come in and help me to keep this place open.”

“I been coming here,” VHS Guy repeats, because this has always been a successful argumentative tactic.

At this point there is little more Fernando can think of to further clarify what the words he has been saying mean without coming off as a right massive boner to his other customer and the entire rest of the planet. So he does the same thing VHS Guy had just done: repetition. “The drawing is for people who've rented or bought something.”

VHS Guy ignores these words and babbles to himself. “What goes on here? Name? Name's good.” He folds his slip of paper with a flourish and deposits it in the bright red drawing bucket. “Okay then.” He leans down to scoop up his crinkly bag and walks out.

Silence fills the store.

The other customer speaks. “That was a little bit weird,” she says.

“You have no idea.”

Spoiler alert: VHS Guy doesn't win the drawing.