A lady rents a couple of
movies one day in December. She has with her a gaggle of four
children, their ages ranging from eight to three. The transaction
concludes without conflict; she selects her movies, pays, and leaves.
Hell, her kids didn't even do obnoxious things to the store.
About an hour after she'd
gone, the phone rings.
-Ring ring ring-
“Hello, Dominion of
Movies.”
“This is Indonesia
Radula. I was just in to rent some movies.”
“Yes?”
“I wanted to get Men
in Black 3 but instead you gave me Paranorman.”
Well, she certainly
selected Paranorman as one of her rentals. Fernando digs
through the rental slips to double-check that he hadn't done a stupid
thing and given her the wrong movie.
“Hmm...well, it seems
that the tag I got was for Paranorman. That's no big deal,
though. If you wanted to come down and swap it out, I'd be more than
happy to.”
“I'm not going back
down there.”
Drat. Fernando
fortunately has a second-string response to placate disgruntled
customers. Sometimes Fernando fucks up. “Okay, then the next time
you come in I can make Men in Black available to you, gratis.”
“That's good.” Then
she hangs up.
Three weeks later she
returns, kids once again in tow. “Yeah, I called a while back about
getting a free rental,” she informs Fernando. Her tone is
condescending and waspish, but that cannot be allowed to rattle
Fernando nor change the fact that he gave the woman his word that
she'd be getting a free rental.
“Indeed,” Fernando
says. He happens to have a copy of Men in Black 3 in and he
retrieves it for the woman's benefit. “Here you go.”
“I want to get a
different one.”
Well, one new release is
priced the same as any other new release. “Sure thing.”
She throws down two tags,
Frankenweenie and The Odd Life of Timothy Green.
Fernando fills out the slip and fetches the movies for her. She pays
for the one and leaves.
About an hour after she'd
gone, the phone rings.
-Ring ring ring-
“Hello, Dominion of
Movies.”
“This is Indonesia. It
happened again.”
“What did?”
“You gave me the wrong
movie.”
“I did.” Fernando's
tone is dry, and he retrieves her slip.
“Yeah, you gave me
Frankenweenie but I wanted Hotel Transylvania.”
“I got the tag for
Frankenweenie.”
“Yeah. That's not the
one that I wanted.”
“That's the tag that I
received.”
“But you gave me the
wrong movie.”
“Curious.”
Nobody speaks for the
span of ten seconds. Then the woman asks, “What are you going to do
about it?”
“If you'd like to come
down and exchange them, that can be arranged.”
“I don't want to come
back down there tonight.”
Second verse, same as the
first. Fortunately, Fernando possesses a measure of longitudinal
awareness which extends back at least three weeks. “Ah. In that
case, I'm afraid there's little I can do.”
These words are not taken
well at all. “This the same thing that happened last time I
rented!”
“That is quite
the odd coincidence, isn't it?”
“Wh-what--”
“I got a tag for
Frankenweenie. How should I know that that isn't the movie
that you actually wanted? Besides, this exact thing happened the last
time you were in and that strikes me as a little weird.”
The lady hangs up on
Fernando in a huff.
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