Fernando is enjoying
himself one evening. He'd dug out his DVDs of The It Crowd
earlier in the day and had spent it in a cozy bubble of proper
nerdish mirth and awkwardness. That program (or perhaps “programme”)
has a great many important life lessons to impart upon the ignorant
who seek enlightenment.
A lady enters the store
with three kids in tow, between the ages of three and six. Fernando
pauses the DVD and greets her. She reciprocates and then turns to her
children. “You kids stay right here by me, okay?” She leads them
into the Dominion's main aisle and begins to browse the new releases.
Valiant effort, Mom. All
for naught, but props are given when deserved. She did her damndest
to adhere to Fernando's sign, and for this he cannot fault her.
For her children do the
exact opposite of obeying her commands. They promptly evade her grasp
and split up into three unbridled mini-cyclones of destruction
determined to rearrange the shelves. They giggle and cavort and sow
despair within the Dominion's walls. The mother tries reigning in the
loin-beasts, but she only possesses two arms and so one member of the
fell triumvirate is always able to roam freely.
When at last she herds
the trio of children into the Dominion's foyer, she commands them to
remain there. “Don't touch anything!” she says. She gives
Fernando a sheepish look. “I'm so sorry.”
Fernando shrugs. “Kids
happen.”
The lady returns to her
browsing. The kids stay in place for a blissful fifteen seconds
before one of them has come across a new toy.
Fernando has a very nice,
ergonomic, bright orange plastic snow shovel which he inherited along
with the rest of the Dominion when he became Keeper. In winter, he
leans it on wall separating the office from the entry foyer, between
his New Releases whiteboard and the switch controlling the Dominion's
interior lighting.
Whunngg
goes the shovel's plastic scoop against the wood of Fernando's sales
rack. One of the kids squeals and shortly thereafter a second
fff-whunngg
fills the store. The sound is not one which has much power behind it,
but it portended foul misdeeds.
Fernando
rises from his seat and walks over to the counter. At the same time,
the mother has dropped the case she was reading directly to the floor
and bolts into the foyer. She snatches the shovel away from two of
her three offspring and leans it against the wall. “Okay, we're
leaving now!”
she says, gathering her brood and forcing them into the chilly
outdoors, whereupon she packs them into her minivan and drives away.
Fernando
walks out into the main aisle and replaces Taken
2
in its rightful place. He wanders the rest of the store and rights
the wrongs he encounters. He then inspects his foyer. His bag of salt
had been tipped over and a small dusting of crystals were mounded
around the opening at the bag's top. He rights the bag, sweeps up the
spilled salt, and nods.
Then
he reenters his office and resumes his journey to a more mirthful
place.
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