Thursday, October 18, 2012

Video Club Movies

One afternoon the phone rings. The caller ID reads “Private Call.” Since this usually means someone's calling from a cell phone, Fernando picks it up. “Hello, Dominion of Movies?”
There is a woman on the other end. “Yes, my name is Guatemala. May I speak with the owner or a manager please?”
This is he. Why is it that you are calling?”
My name is Guatemala,” the woman repeats, inadvertently telling Fernando, who had worked as a telephone center call-drone back in his college days, that she is reading from a script. “I am calling to see if you would like to sponsor some advertising. Could I get your name please?”
She stops speaking, and not just the normal half-second, pause-for-breath lapse in conversation. Fernando ignores her question in favor of asking his own: “For?”
Well, as you probably know, the Saladolsa Chum Buckets cross-country team will be participating in a state-wide competition later this month. We were wondering if Video Club Movies would like to have ad sponsorship at this event.”
Video Club Movies? The hell is with people soliciting Fernando but not getting names right? “No, sorry, I think I'll pass.”
Sir, if you could just hear out our rates perhaps you will find one that fits your price range.”
Oh, what the hell. Fernando throws advertising bones to the football and basketball teams once in a while; no reason the cross-country team should automatically be excluded. “What is your least expensive option?”
We have a one-by-two ad that will feature the store's name, Video Club Movies, and either your street address or a greeting or show of support like 'proud sponsor of the Saladolsa Chum Buckets.' Those are sixty dollars.”
Mmm. Guatemala would never know exactly how tempting this offer suddenly became to Fernando, who spends significantly less than that on a full month's advertising in a local periodical which some people in the Dominion's sphere of accessibility actually read and which would not feature the name of a completely different store. Though maybe the address option was provided so that the seventeen people who go to cross-country meets could maybe use that to ascertain that the Dominion of Movies was actually Video Club Movies? “I'm sorry, but I'm just not interested.”
Sir, your support would mean a lot to the Chum Buckets and--”
Indeed, I'm sure it would. However, I am not interested in providing sixty dollars worth of support. Have a good day.”
Fernando hangs up.

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