Thursday, October 25, 2012

Turtlefoot Enterprises, Mach IV

It is one of those impossibly slow days where absolutely nothing is happening in a wealth-garnering sense. The weather is fairly nice, there are high school football and volleyball games which everyone is attending, and to top it off the week's releases are profoundly lackluster. Even the random traffic passing by on the highway before the store is minimal. As a result, Fernando has spent most of the day reading Fark and ruing the fact that the new vanilla-walnut flavored coffee creamer he procured about a week prior had not been the wisest of purchases.
The phone rings. Fernando jumps at the call because, hey, maybe this means he will lessen the deficit he will have incurred through having had the store open today! He looks at the caller ID.
Okay, what did I do and to whom to deserve this?” Fernando asks aloud. No one is around to answer, for even his Guardian Spiders have gone off to the Land of the Unending Sleep. He sighs in resignation and meanders over to the phone, picking it up on the fourth ring.
Hello, Dominion of Movies.”
Hi, is this Fernando?” It's a new person, neither Kevin nor the sultry lass from before. This woman's voice is irrepressibly bubbly and chipper. It reminds Fernando vaguely of hearing Tara Strong in...well, just about any role she's ever voiced.
This is he.”
This is Nepal, calling from Turtlefoot Enterprises! How are you?”
Yes, yes, obligatory social niceties. “I'm well. Yourself?”
I'm great! The weather is pretty nice here, how is it for you?”
Now for the small talk. Okay, not like there's much better to do. “Actually, it's been fairly bad. Lots of clouds and rain. Frost in the morning. Typical October weather, really.”
This does not dissuade Nepal's cheer. “Oh, that must be good for business! It's nice now that fall is here and summer is over! Kids are back in school, people want to stay inside now and have everything fall into place!”
Well, if there's not a football game of the high school or professional variety, nor any other kind of sporting event, nor any other kind of event. Then things tend to fall into a different kind of place.”
Oh, Fernando, I'm sorry to hear that!”
What will be will be. One has minimal control over the choices others make in life.”
There's a brief moment of silence, perhaps as Nepal mulls over how to turn the conversation away from its headlong rush to the bottom of Bleakness Chasm and back on track to Positive Land. Surprisingly, this does not happen; instead she barges full-tilt into the sales part of her spiel. “Fernando, have you reconsidered signing up with Turtlefoot and getting your movie for much less than what you're paying now?”
Sadly, I have not. The stars have not yet aligned.”
Finally, her facade of mirth cracks and allows a minute bit of frustration or disappointment to seep into her vocal tone. “Oh, well, we'll be in touch then down the road then. Have a good evening, Fernando!”
And you as well.” Nepal hangs up.
So continues the Turtlefoot Saga.

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