Thursday, August 16, 2012

Fish Out of Temporal Water

A lady Fernando has never seen before enters the Dominion one evening with a kid, maybe six years old, in tow. Fernando greets her but she ignores him and heads out into the store to browse.
After a couple of minutes, she approaches the counter. “Yes, do you have this on VHS?” She has in her hands Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.
Um, that came out in 2008 or thereabouts. They actually stopped production of VHS tapes entirely about a number of years ago.”
So you don't have it on tape?”
No, I'm afraid not.”
You don't have any of these newer ones on tape?”
No, sorry. Like I said, they haven't made new VHS tapes in half a decade or more.”
How come you can still buy them online then?”
People sell used items online all the time. They aren't new.”
I've gotten newer movies on tape!”
Then someone recorded it onto a blank VHS tape brought out of a time capsule and sold that recording.”
Can you order some for me?”
No, I'm sorry. I won't knowingly deal in pirated materials.”
That's not piracy!”
I have fewer lawyers than the MPAA, so I feel as though arguing that point would be a lost cause.”
The lady leaves.

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