Captain Oblivious

The phone rings one afternoon. Fernando picks up. “Hello, Dominion of Movies.”

“Yeah, my name is Monaco. I was wondering if you did any disc cleaning.”

Fernando sighs and runs a hand through his hair. “I used to, but the repair machine I used broke down a while back and I haven't been able to find an acceptable replacement yet. All the ones I've found have been the hand-crank ones that are far more likely to destroy your discs than fix them, or the huge industrial ones that cost about three thousand dollars and take up half a room.”

“Have you tried looking online?”

“Well, yeah. I've scoured eBay, Amazon, other places. I haven't found any.”

“I see. What kind did you have?”

“A Maxwell. Couldn't tell you the specifics, but I'd know it if I saw it. It worked amazingly for at least six or so years, probably more since it was here when the old owners were still around.”

“What happened to it?”

“Well, there are these styrofoam pads that are placed in the machine to do the actual cleaning and they have a thin strip of some sort of polymer material on top. One day this strip somehow came off and smeared and tangled itself all over the disc and moving parts in the machine.”

“Did you try cleaning it?”

“Uh...yeah. It--”

“How about rubbing alcohol and Q-Tips? Those work well for cleaning up machines like that if you take them apart.”

“Yes. This stuff was crusted on and I couldn't get any of it off, so in the end I threw it--”

“Because I've taken apart and fixed a lot of stuff, gaming systems and stuff. Xbox and GameCube and things like that. Maybe I could take a look for you.”

Fernando resists the urge to shout uncomplimentary words. “I got rid of it after I was unable to clean it.”

“I could maybe have fixed it for you.”

“I wasn't going to keep a broken piece of machinery around the store.”

“Oh.” Monaco makes a pensive chuffing sound. “Have you tried searching Craigslist? They sometimes have stuff up for sale.”

“Yes, I have checked Craigslist.”

“You didn't find anything?”

“If I had, I would have most likely bought it.”

“Why don't you get a different one?”

Deep breaths, Fernando. Deep deep breaths. “The hand-crank ones are crap and I don't have the money, space, or inclination to pick up one of the big ones like what Family Video or Blockbuster probably have.”

“Oh, Family Video has one of those?”

“I would imagine so.”

“Do you know if they do it for other people?”

“I mean, I don't know. I'm not an expert on how Family Video runs itself.”

“I guess I'll call them then.”

“That might be for the best. They would be able to answer your questions better than me.”

Monaco is silent for about five seconds. “Okay, so I'll call them then.”

“Alrighty. Best of luck to you.”

Monaco hangs up. Fernando passes time staring at the cordless phone in his hand, then replaces it in the charger.