Thursday, February 2, 2012

Dunking Donuts

One Sunday evening in January the weather has decided to bless Fernando with a never-ending supply of drizzle and freezing rain. It does him minimal good, though, since people are already glued to their televisions and rooting for assorted football teams. Some of those people are, apparently, the plow operators employed by the local government.

As has been shared before, Fernando's parking lot is not so much a parking lot as a street on which people arrange their cars when they come in to rent. Officially, it is the local government's job to keep it clear of ice and snow, but for all practical purposes Fernando is the one to salt and shovel the half of the road nearer to the store when Winter shares its bounteous gifts. He likes for his customers to be able to enter his Dominion without wading through snow drifts or running the risk of a concussion after slipping on ice.

Someone pulls into the parking lot and instead of doing the thing which rational people do, he decides to utilize the slick conditions to their fullest. He jams on his brakes and cranks the wheel and Fernando can hear the high-pitched whine as his vehicle corkscrews around on the street, making a full revolution and half of another one. He exits his vehicle to return some movies while it is still positioned at an angle in the lot.

When the chimes hanging above the Dominion's door tinkle, Fernando says to him straightaway, “Please don't do that again here.”

Oh, sorry man. I won't. It's so fun though.”

It'd be less fun if something were to happen, either to you or your car or somebody else's car (though the lot was at this time empty and Fernando hopes—HOPESthat he would not have done such a silly thing had it been filled) or my building.”

Oh, yeah, I guess so. See ya later.” He departs, climbs in, and does a jerky-slidey series of movements before pulling away.

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