Sunday, February 5, 2012

Fools and Babes

Two girls, a boy, and their father are in the store one evening. The kids are in the kids/family section; Dad is browsing on the other end of the store in horror.

Hey, watch this!” says one of the children. These three words have never been the preface to something good in the history of language.

Fernando hears the sound of running feet and toppling cases, followed by childish giggling. The patter of footsteps recedes and the giggling intensifies. Fernando comes out of the office and, yup, one of the little bastards had just run full tilt along one of the rows of movies. She's preparing for Round 2, arm outstretched and fingertips snaked around the edge of Enchanted, which lies at the end of that row. The row above...well, which used to be above anyway, is now on the floor. The entire row. Dad hasn't deigned to focus on anything outside his favored lair in horror.

Please stop,” Fernando says.

Dad hears that no problem and is goaded into immediate action, naturally enough. “What're you doing with my kids?” he thunders, swinging around the back end of the store.

Some movies fell down,” says the other girl.

Oh yeah?” Dad does not inflect it as a question, and he leers at Fernando as though he is the bad guy in this situation.

Fernando could not gainsay the little brat. Parents believe in the perfection of their crotchfruit and Dad is already ill-disposed towards Fernando for daring to chastise the kids' behavior. The last thing Fernando needs is for a grown man to throw a tantrum over the believed mistreatment of his children. Fernando decides to act diplomatically (for once). “Yeah. I was about to pick them up but they have to go back in the right order. If you guys are ready I can get you on your way before I start, though.”

This seems to satisfy Dad. They rent four movies but it wasn't worth it, not in the slightest, for Fernando had to pretend he was not in a foul mood to customers for the rest of the night.

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