Name Games

Most people know Fernando's name because he is somewhat popular in the community and he is rather idiosyncratic in how he conducts himself with others. This is a three-in-one Chronicle of a bizarre series of name confusions which all took place on different days the week before Thanksgiving.

The first is a semi-regular customer of Fernando's. She comes in to rent one day. Fernando knows her name, and he assumes that she knows his. Their relationship is one of those where names are never used. After all, who says to someone in a conversation, “[Insert Proper Name], blahblahblah”? Anyhow, the transaction is completed and the lady says, “See you later, Roberto.” She is out the door before realization dawns and Fernando has a chance to correct her.

The following day, Fernando is out in public and spending his hard-earned money at a local business establishment, procuring some pizza to enjoy in masochistic delight. Another of his semiregulars stands in line in front of him, and the two make small talk about how hunting as been going even though Fernando has no time for or interest in hunting. His turn at the register comes up, he pays for his goods, and Fernando is the next served when he finishes. He says to Fernando, “See ya, Pablo,” and Fernando cannot correct him because he is now engaged with the Keeper of the Register and doesn't want to hold up the line of four people behind him.

Finally, it's the day before Thanksgiving. A regular customer calls Fernando and asks that The Lion King be held for her. She comes in a short while later with her brother. Since Fernando adheres to the Golden Rule, and he would not want to return movies in a turkey coma, any rentals are free to keep until Friday. Fernando uses this information to manipulate the rental of additional movies beyond the one which was reserved. Hooray!

Payment goes through, Fernando bids the pair a glorious day of thanks, and irregular-customer-brother says just before he steps out the door, “Thanks. You too, Miguel.” And Fernando cannot correct him because he is already vamoosed.

Perhaps it is time to create a name tag?