Typecast

One of the quasi-regulars peruses the store's new release rack one afternoon. Fernando hears the soft, assorted clack of cases being rearranged on the shelves, but pays it little mind. The door is propped open by a VHS rental case, the sun is shining, and dandelions have come into bloom to devour all the world. Fernando never understood why people would consider the dandelion a weed and seek to eradicate all traces of it. It is a flower—a mighty successful flower, one which provides a great abundance of pollen and nectar to honeybees and gives ordinary dull grass pretty yet un-gaudy splashes of color. They are edible, besides. That it can choke out and murder daintier plants like tulips or carnations is not the dandelion's fault. One does not blame professional basketball players for their ability to shame sixth graders at the sport, but to do the same to the dandelion is somehow accepted.

Anyhow, this quasi-regular speaks at Fernando. “Hey, this Hyde Park movie, it's a comedy?”

“Hyde Park on Hudson? No, not at all. It's a history drama.”

“It has Bill Murray though.”

“Indeed it does. That does not automatically make it a comedy.”

“He's a funny guy. He was great in Zombieland.”

This young man is somewhere around the age of eighteen. Fernando inwardly cringes. “If Zombieland is the metric by which you judge Bill Murray's body of comedic work....” he begins saying, then trails off upon realizing the statement would prove pointless spoken to someone whose idea of a “retro” gaming system is the N64.

“If you're in the market for a comedy, I can recommend This is 40 or...I think I have a copy of Guilt Trip in as well,” Fernando says at last. The young man takes Fernando's first suggestion to heart, pays, collects his movie, and departs.

Grumble, grumble.