Sigh

Fernando has just fixed a cup of coffee in the back room and is returning to his post within the Dominion's office. As he navigates the racks of rental cases, a pickup truck with a closed-up bed pulls up in front of the Dominion. The driver parks parallel to the store's front, which is not usually a problem, except that he is directly in front of the Dominion's door. A middle-aged man and his wife clamber out.

Fernando has just reentered the office and set down his coffee when the chimes jingle. Without preamble, the man, who is a tall and broad middle-aged sort with a battering ram of a paunch fastened to his abdomen, booms out, “You got any good wilderness movies?”

“Um...I'm not sure what you mean. You mean like The Grey?” That seems to Fernando like a decent wilderness movie, insofar as it has wilderness as an antagonistic force acting upon the protagonist.

This is insufficient for Fernando's guest. “No, I don't want none of that shit with vampires and werewolves. Try again.” Maybe he thought Fernando had made reference to Fifty Shades of Grey, which doesn't even exist on film at this time. At least Fernando assumes Fifty Shades of Grey involves vampires, since it's Twilight fanfic that transmogrified into the next big thing containing flat female characters the mostly-female readership can use to live vapid and perfectionist fantasies. It could be that it doesn't, and Fernando lacks the basic interest to even search Wikipedia for a synopsis of the book's plot.

Regardless, Fernando's guest's words left the Keeper a bit stunned. Fernando had expected to be rebuffed, since this man seemed like a alpha-male kind of guy who asserts dominance over others through contrarian behavior. He hadn't expected it to be so curt and effective. This leaves our hero speechless for a few seconds.

A few seconds is all the boisterous visitor needs to continue his verbal assault. “Can't think of anything?” he asks. “The hell kind of guy are you, working at a movie store but you don't know what people want?”

Fernando is now gearing up to dig deep into his snark reserves and set this confrontation on the express lane to Hell. Instead, the man's wife steps in. “Honey, look. Paranormal Activity 4.”

The man doesn't even turn around to look at her when he says, “Quiet. I'm talking with the man.”

So that's nice.

The woman's attempt to defuse the situation has given Fernando additional time to take stock of his situation. He probably would lose in a head-to-head clash. Fernando must be as water, to absorb his guest's ridicule with stoicism and to avoid being baited. He shall be the bigger man. So Fernando says, “The Grey is actually Liam Neeson and his plane crashing in the Alaskan wilderness. There are wolves, but they're the normal kind, not the were-kind.” Fernando did not use the adjective “lycanthropic.” In hindsight, he ought to have.

But the guy ignores Fernando's words and ambles into the store. The next few minutes are a span of time which will forever leave a dark stain upon the Dominion's generally welcoming and jovial aura. The wife points out a wide variety of movies which might be taken for rental. In every case, the man rebuffs her choices as being “stupid” or “retarded.” When she stumbles upon Rise of the Planet of the Apes and points out the existence of this film, her husband says, “We're already living in a country run by one. Don't need to watch a movie with a planet run by 'em.”

So that's nice.

Finally they reach a consensus, and by that Fernando means that the man found Larry the Cable Guy: Delta Farce and told his wife that this is what they're going to watch. He selects the tag and brings it up to the counter, his wife trailing. Fernando sets to filling out the rental slip. “Can I get your name?”

“Morocco Mali.”

Fernando says, “One second,” and checks in his records. He exists therein. Damn. Fernando checks the late fee lists. He's not on there. Double-damn.

So Fernando fills out the rental slip and takes the monies which are owed him. Once the couple leaves, he collapses into his chair and shakes his head.

Apparently two dollars is now enough to compromise one's scruples in the business world.