A sign appeared in
the Dominion's window one day in early April, and a scaled-down
version of this sign also appeared in local advertisers. People gazed
upon it and despair bloomed in the pits of their stomachs. It upset
the delicate balance of daily life in the lands which the Dominion
served. Fernando's customers expressed concern and curiosity
regarding the words written upon the sign, and more than once
wondered if life would ever be the same for them.
The sign read:
“The Dominion of Movies will be closed from April 20th
to April 22nd. Normal business hours will resume on the
23rd.”
Such a thing was
unheard of to the populace, for the Dominion never
closed. Fernando's presence behind the counter and his obligation to
provide movie entertainment to (nearly) all who entered was something
that had been taken for granted, an immutable fact of life much like
the sunrise or the inevitable destruction of personal property. After
all, this was the first time in three years Fernando would have time
off from the store on a day that was not a giant holiday, and even in
those cases Fernando kept open for at least part of the business day.
A three-day vacation at the end of April? Unheard of.
Of course, the particular dates Fernando was taking off resulted in a
few of Fernando's customers annoyingly making not-very-witty comments
which led to conversations that really just bugged the shit
out of Fernando.
“Hey, Fernie, I see you're taking off 4/20. Never would've figured
you were one to light 'em up.”
“Er. Not really.”
“You do know what 4/20 means, right?”
“And
here I thought there was only an arbitrary
significance to that particular date. Deep thoughts with potheads.”
Naturally, stoner culture wasn't the only source of potential
d'ho-ho-ho. Two other people came in and started off conversations in
a roughly similar way:
“Taking off 4/20, hey? Where're you headed?”
Fernando had no real desire to share his travel plans with most of
his customer base, so he answered these two men with oblique
deflection. “I have obligations out of town.”
In the first case, the conversation then progressed: “Heading to a
Klan rally, huh?”
“Not really. I don't see what that has to do with the twentieth of
April.”
“Hitler's birthday, man. I thought you were German.”
“Right.
Because when I hear 'Ku Klux Klan rally' I immediately think, 'Oh,
that fits in so well with my cultural heritage and personal
ideology.'”
“Hitler killed the Jews though.”
“Right.
Because, again, my personal ideology and cultural heritage demand
that I venerate one of history's greatest jackasses. It's like
Germany was the only country, ever, to have made horrible decisions
and done impossibly stupid shit.”
“Man, it was just a joke.”
“Not a very good one.”
In the second case, the man next said, “You know that's Hitler's
birthday, right.”
“Yes. It's also George Takei's birthday. I far prefer the latter to
the former.”
“I just wanted to be sure you knew because I know that you're part
German so people might try to make things awkward for you.”
“That's a self-fulfilling prophecy at its finest.”
The customer, who was not one of Fernando's brightest, looked at him
in confusion for a moment, realized he had no idea what Fernando had
just said, and then changed the subject to Pirates of the Caribbean.
A few (far too few) of Fernando's customers approached him and asked
variations on, “So, why are you closing up over the weekend?”
Fernando answered these blunt souls honestly. “I'm heading down to
Madison to attend a convention.”
Some of the customers looked at Fernando strangely or with
disapproval, but in all fairness they should expect such horrible and
nerdy things from him. Others said words like, “Oh, that should be
fun!” or, “Well, you deserve a little break.” On exactly two
occasions the person than asked, “What kind of convention?”
“It's a sci-fi con, well, mostly sci-fi. We're heading down there
pretty much only because John Kovalic will be there.”
“Who?”
“He
does the art for Munchkin and produces Dork Tower.
It's a comic series about nerdish things like gaming and...gaming.”
Unfortunately, this explanation didn't help clarify things any, but
the people in question responded with aplomb. “Well, I hope you
have a great time!”
The
night of the 19th
came and Fernando should have slept. He was traveling southward in
the company of Ronaldo, and the pair had planned on getting a very
early start on things by leaving at 6:30 or thereabouts. Instead
Fernando found himself unable to drift away. He passed the time by
playing League of Legends or Majesty. At around 5:30 AM on the 20th,
Fernando received a text message from Ronaldo: “Hey, are you up?”
“Absolutely I am,” Fernando responds. “You want to come over
and have some coffee before we head out?”
“Sure. I'll be right there.”
The journey was about to begin.
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