Stop 'n' Swap

The phone rings about an hour and a half before opening one day. Fernando sees an unfamiliar name on the caller ID and picks it up anyhow. He acted strangely on this day, indeed. "Hello, Dominion of Movies."

"Yeah, do you have movies there?"

Fernando resists the urge to sigh in frustration. "Er...yes, yes I do."

"What kind?" Please don't be a pornseeker, please don't be a pornseeker....

"Most kinds. If you're looking for one in particular let me know and I can track it down and see if I have it or not."

"No, I mean like DVDs or tapes or what."

"Oh. Mostly DVDs. I've got some VHS here yet but I've been trying to get rid of them for years now."

"I see. Because I have boxes of old movies and I was wondering if you do trades."

"Well, depending on what they are and how they look I offer store credit."

"No, I mean like if I bring two down, can I take another one out?"

"Er. That would depend, like I said, on how much credit your trades are worth. Rentals are $3.50 for new releases."

"No, you don't understand. I would give you two of my movies and then I get to keep one of yours. Just like a swap, except you get two movies out of it this way. Other places do it like that."

Fernando doesn't understand? "If your two movies were worth however much in credit, then, sure that would work out. But it would depend, as I said, on which titles and which condition. I am generally of the opinion it is a bad idea to trade a new, niceish resale for battered copies of Austin Powers and Deep Impact that would sit here and take up space for the next decade."

"Oh. Well, I'll come down there and check things out."

"You are more than welcome." The other person hangs up, but no customers unknown to Fernando come down to investigate how the Dominion is inventoried.