Inevitability

A pair of high school girls enter the Dominion one afternoon. Fernando recognizes the one of them as the daughter of a regular but he has never seen the other before. They browse the store and select a couple of movies, the tags of which they bring up to the counter.

Fernando begins filling out the rental slip in the name of the father of the girl he recognizes. She sees him doing this and snaps out her arm, grasping Fernando's writing hand in her own. “Stop!” she shouts.

Naturally, he ceases his writing, though it is more from recoiling at the unsolicited touch than a desire to obey her command. “Yes?” he asks.

“Don't put it under my name. Put it under hers.”

“Okay. Could I get your name?”

“Yemen Abstinence.”

“Do you have an account here?”

“No.”

“Then you'll need to set one up.”

“Why does she need to do that?” asks the familiar girl.

“Well, if she wants to rent it under her name, then her name needs to be in the system.”

“Can't we just put it under her name but use my dad's account?”

“Asking me questions like that is the prelude to something horrible happening.”

“What?” says the second girl.

Fernando elaborates. “Usually when people arrange things like this it results in me losing some of my property. I just don't see why this needs to be so complicated as to not have it just be under your name.”

“I don't want it to be under my name,” says the first girl.

“Or your dad's name.”

“She's the one that wanted to rent!” Now the first girl's voice takes on the wheedling whine held in common by all teenagers.

“Then she can set up the account. This shouldn't be that hard.”

The second girl speaks again. “What if I put it under my mom's name?”

“Does she have an account?”

“She should. Somalia Lentils.”

At this juncture, Fernando openly facepalms. This name is that of one of his regular customers. A shuffling of that woman's social bonds deck must have occurred in the past. “Why...didn't you just tell me that to begin with?”

The second girl blinks at Fernando in confusion. “You didn't ask.”

Fernando gave up and let them rent.